Tuesday 17 July 2012

emma told me this weird story

is your dad still living in shepherds bush, I asked her.
no, she said, he's in albania now.
albania? how come?
he's working there, that's
what he does, he
goes all over the place, working, doing
something or other
for an engineering firm and
this time it's albania. he
likes it there, she said.
so where else has he been, I asked, and
do you ever go out to see him?
well, not usually, she said, but
when I was a kid I did go and see him
in dubai
and in abu dhabi.
oh right, I said, how did you like it there?
okay, I guess, she said, but
I don't remember much, I was, like,
seven or eight years old, but
I do remember one thing. we met
this lady. a porn star. she weighed about 40 stone.
haha, for real? I asked, and she
was like yes, she was actually
really nice, this woman, very friendly.
40 stone, huh, I said, I guess there's a market
for that, I guess there's a market for everything. So
how did you even meet someone like that?
when you were just a kid? in dubai
of all fucking places?
oh, she was just staying at our hotel, this
kind of resort place. she was with
her husband. or her boyfriend. or bodyguard,
I don't know, maybe he was like
her co-star,
or whatever.
was he a 40 stone dude, I asked, and
she was like, no just normal size.
oh, I said, I was hoping he was really skinny, you know
like jack spratt and his wife, that kind of vibe, like
they could have used those stage names, and
she looked at me
like she didn't know what I was talking about and she said
no, he was really muscular and I think
he was italian
or something

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