what about shitting?

GLOBAL WARMING

CANNING TOWN

FCC still not guarding its trains

those graffiti boys are STILL getting as much time as they need to paint big, elaborate panels on First Capital Connect's trains. still so committed to customer safety that you continue not to guard the trains at night, FCC? so anyone who wanted to stick bombs under a train would get a couple of hours to do so, right? there's a thought to liven up your commute. more stimulating than 50 Shades of Shite on your sweaty Kindle.

Reshuffled defence to be tested at Spurs

A home draw is not meant to be the most satisfying outcome, but last weekend's goalless encounter with Chelsea was largely well received by QPR supporters. Ours lads, after all, were entertaining a side who, as their fans were keen to remind us (on the rare occasions their songs could be heard above the Rangers roar), are champions of Europe.

So although all three points could have been snatched had either of Messrs. Park and Zamora taken the scoring chances with which they were presented, getting even just the one point may have felt like some sort of victory to any Superhoops fans who had started the day fearing an embarrassing defeat. But while it's probably going too far to apply the word pyrrhic to any such sense of victory, the encouraging performance and result were not without cost. Most notably, of course, Andy Johnson is out for most of the rest of the season.  This is horribly bad luck for the former Fulham man, but injuries this serious are not without precedent for the diminutive forward, whose 2009-10 and 2010-11 seasons were both blighted by long periods out of action. 

But, in Bobby Zamora and Djibril Cissé, QPR do have decent options up front, although the latter will surely be keen to rediscover the goal scoring form that was so vital in last season's relegation scrap. Also, other players, though not perhaps thought of as out-and-out strikers, can be pressed into duty further up the park if needed. Messrs. Mackie and Hoilett each scored seven league goals in league fixtures last season. So perhaps either can be moved from the wing to a more central position if needed.

In the short term at least, the more pressing area of concern is the Rangers defence. It was to this area that most damage was sustained during last week's encounter with the Pensioners, with loanee fullback Fábio da Silva and centre-half Anton Ferdinand both sustaining knocks that have ruled them out of tomorrow's trip to White Hart Lane.

These are not the only defensive headaches faced by Mark Hughes. Armand Traoré is not yet ready to step into the left-sided position temporarily vacated by Fabio, and new signing Stéphane Mbia is also not quite fit enough to play against Spurs.

So QPR fans may be right to worry about the ability of a reshuffled back line to deal with the threat posed by Tottenham tomorrow. One particularly pressing concern seems to be the left-back position. Whoever steps into that role will most likely be facing pacey opponents in the form of Aaron Lennon and a certain fullback whose abilities are well known to Superhoops supporters. The speed and guile of Walker and Lennon, then, are such that some people are asking whether dear old Clint Hill is the best man to deal with them. Another option, of course, would be shift José Bosingwa from right to left. Could he cope? Well, while a common perception may be that the experienced Portuguese defender is entirely and unhelpfully right-footed, it is worth remembering his magnificent performance against Barcelona just over three years ago. Petr Cech, one of Bosingwa's Chelsea team mates that day, remarked that "the biggest compliment should go to  José  because I think it was the second time in his life that he played at left back and it was against [Lionel] Messi. But you couldn't see Messi on the pitch today."

Perhaps it's way too optimistic to suppose that, on Sunday evening, Bosingwa will be enjoying similar praise for having nullified the threat posed by key Spurs players. But Cech's gushing praise of the Portuguese fullback should serve as a reminder that, slow start to the season notwithstanding, QPR have added a lot of quality to their squad. What that means in terms of our chances at Tottenham remains to be seen. But it is to be hoped that once this tricky tie is out of the way, the Rangers can really get their season going properly. By and large, after all, the weekends ahead are populated with what should be more benign fixtures. As we look ahead to October and November, trips to the Emirates Stadium and Old Trafford stand out as exceptions to what otherwise looks like a run of games from which QPR must surely start collecting some serious points.

But perhaps points can be had this weekend. Perhaps at least a draw can be secured tomorrow. Our opponents' only win so far this season was at the expense of newly-promoted Reading and they have yet to win at home, with their new manager (our old pal AVB) yet to make his mark and secure the affection of Spurs fans. So let's see if the R's can work around that daunting injury list and get something from the short trip to Tottenham.

U RRRRRRRRRRRssssssssssssssss

How easy would it be to blow up an FCC train?

Graffiti is a funny old business. Some of us are iconoclasts who rather enjoy the illicit claiming of public and commercial spaces by unseen, subversive folk. Other people (most people, probably) hate it - dirty, threatening, creating an uncomfortable impression of lawlessness.

Lately, the trains operated by First Capital Connect on the Bedford-to-Brighton Thameslink line have been carrying big panels of often quite elaborate graffiti. This one, spotted today, is a fair size: 

But it's small beer when compared to pieces spotted earlier this week, last month and back in the winter. Clearly, if you want to paint a big panel on an FCC train, it's by no means impossible not only to get access to wherever the rolling stock is kept at night but also to stay there undisturbed for the several hours that some of these pieces must take to complete. From an aesthetic point of view, this is my england has no problem with this. The feeling here is that many of these pieces show real artistry and craft.

Frankly, a lot of what's been painted on the carriages this year is a welcome change from FCC's nasty blue and pink colour scheme and dull corporate branding. Moreover, FCC is not a brand which is much loved by those who have to use the company's heavily subsidised services. No, theirs is not the worst train service in this country. But it is expensive and there are plenty of other dislikeable elements of the FCC experience. Of these, insufferably rude and inconsistent 'revenue protection' staff stand out. So when some of us see an FCC train covered in big pieces of graffiti, we silently approve. One in the eye for an unfriendly company whose 'services' we are forced to endure.

But at the same time, you might look at a carriage that someone has redecorated in this fashion and ask yourself an interesting question. If, you may well ask, a graffiti artist can spend hours unobserved, working away with the spray cans in some yard or on some siding, couldn't someone much more dangerous also gain access to the trains at night? Why would someone wanting to plant bombs under the carriages find it any more difficult to proceed undisturbed than the graffiti boys do?

Sure, notwithstanding the occasional genuinely shocking outrage such as the 7/7 bombings of 2005, the threat of terrorism is exaggerated by governments and security forces in order to force an insidious erosion of freedom on a fearful population. But that is not to pretend that threats do not exist at all. So given that when terrorist attacks do happen it is public transport systems that are often targeted, it seems foolish in the extreme for a train operator like FCC to leave their rolling stock unguarded at night. Presumably there is some kind of surveillance technology in use. But it's clearly the case that the low-tech solution of having a night-watchman on patrol is not. Why not? Well, one good guess might be an aversion on the company's part when it comes to employing extra human beings. 

So if your train does blow up during your commute one morning, your loved ones can at least console themselves with the thought that FCC was working hard to maximise its profits by refusing to guard its sidings and yards with the only truly foolproof defence mechanism, namely having enough blokes (and dogs) around to scare off the bad guys.

In the meantime, try to draw comfort from the bland reassurances of FCC's social media bods who state that their company is "working very hard" along with the British Transport Police "to put a stop to" the current wave of graffiti action. No detail on what this "hard work" entails. But it clearly does not entail paying people to keep an eye on the trains ALL NIGHT and EVERY NIGHT. 

modern football is rubbish

rumble sticks, jester hats, soulless stadia on the fringes of soulless retails parks on the fringes of soulless towns... and... SONG SHEETS for people who don't know they words ('cos they only watch their other team, Man Utd, on Sky when their local team isn't in the top flight):

GO EAST, YOUNG MAN

QPR 0 Chelsea 0: consider yourself entertained

The recent passing of Max Bygraves went unremarked by this is my england. This was a shocking oversight. By way of correcting said oversight, today's musings on the QPR weekend are brought to you in the spirit of the late entertainer.

I wanna tell you a story... about a no-score draw

A 0-0 draw is not what many fans are hoping to see when paying today's eye-watering prices to watch ninety minutes of professional football. But not every goalless draw is entirely dour, and the fare served up at Loftus Road on Saturday was reasonably satisfying. Well, reasonably satisfying for most QPR supporters in attendance. The quiet, reserved fans of the away side? Not so much. For them, these terribly unimportant matches against teams that they don't care about (or even ever think about) are meant to be an easy stroll towards well-deserved victory. Instead, the visiting Pensioners supporters had to watch their £50 million striker having another of his anonymous off days. They also had to watch him flouncing off when substituted.  The poor dears also had to endure a woeful performance from one of their legendary stalwarts as a rapidly fading Frank Lampard managed to complete just 68.7% of the passes he attempted.

Lampard's efforts were in stark contrast to the composed elegance of the home side's Alejandro Faurlin, who completed 88.1% of his passes. The Argentinian has bounced back into fitness and form after a very long lay off and his return may prove to be every bit as important to the Rangers as any of the recent player acquisitions the club has made. That said, Faurlin's partner in the midfield engine room, Esteban 'the Pirate' Granero, is playing his way into the supporters' affections very quickly indeed. The former Real Madrid man was singled out for praise for his debut performance at Manchester City. He looked even better when making his first appearance on the Superhoops' home turf.

More surprising, perhaps, was the excellent play of Kiwi centre-half Ryan Nelsen. Not many QPR fans predicted that the former Blackburn and Spurs man would be a really useful addition to the squad. But it looks like the veteran defender may well prove his doubters wrong.

You need hands

But if praise is going to be spread around the team which QPR put out on Saturday, it would be entirely remiss to overlook the home side's new 'keeper. Because based on the evidence of this one game, the vastly experienced Brazilian stopper looks like a massive upgrade. This is a guy, after all, who has regularly been touted as one of the world's best goalies. Hail Cesar!

Now, while we're on the subject of a man who will doubtless contribute much to the Rangers' 2012-13 campaign by using his hands, it is worth reminding ourselves that hands were the focus of much attention before this match. Because once again we had to endure this country's sensationalist and puerile media outlets aggravating the bad feeling that was always going to be a feature of the game's pre-match handshaking ritual.

Feel free to take a view, then, on whether Anton Ferdinand was right or wrong not to shake the hands of the two Chelsea players with whom he continues to feel aggrieved. Feel free to wonder a bit about the more surprising business of Park Ji-Sung not shaking hands with the Blues skipper. But this short article is going to give that whole discussion a distinct and determined swerve. Enough already, right? Let's just forget the whole dismal business until we next have the pleasure of tangling with the Pensioners of SW6.

But it will be harder, perhaps, to forget another hands-related incident from Saturday's game. Harder still, maybe, to forgive it. Oddly, however, it was not an incident that was even noticed by very many people in the ground. Certainly, none of the good people sat in the X block of Ellerslie Road appear to have been aware of it. But a picture tells a thousand words. So look at this snap from one of the Sunday tabloids:

Here we see Rangers crowd favourite Jamie Mackie having his throat grabbed by that man Terry. Not pretty, is it? A sending off offence, surely? It certainly must be given that we only have to look to our recent memories to be reminded that a player who raises his hands anywhere near an opponent's neck is meant to get a red card. Think back, for example, to last season's home tie against Wolves. Remember how Djibril Cissé got his marching orders for putting his hands around the throat of Roger Johnson? So what's the difference? Not much, right? So presumably the referee is another person who failed to see this bit of thuggery from the Chelsea Captain. 

Fings ain't wot they used t'be?

This lucky escape for the Pensioners defender, then, may balance out the various unsuccessful penalty appeals about which Blues supporters are presumably still moaning. But it would be an unwise Chelsea fan who blames nothing more than bad luck with the officials for his team's failure to beat little, irrelevant QPR. After all, the Champions of Europe enjoyed less possession and passed the ball less accurately than the home side.

This is something that they will need to sort out if they are going to go back to their accustomed habit of swatting aside pathetic little also-rans like our team. Because this season's decent start notwithstanding, Pensioners fans will remember with discomfort a number of occasions during the 2011-12 campaign when their side did not manage to blow away supposedly inferior opposition. Wigan, Fulham, Norwich and Swansea all managed to hold the Blues to a draw.

Back at QPR, Mark Hughes has promised that our own struggles of last season are to be consigned firmly to the past. We will not, he tells us, have to endure another relegation battle. Well, let's see. The opening day capitulation at home to Swansea seemed to give lie to that notion. But perhaps Saturday's showing offered evidence to support the idea that the massive number of new signings at Loftus Road can indeed be blended effectively to create a decent team. That said, another tough fixture looms ahead. Their poor early form notwithstanding, Spurs will surely offer a stern test at White Hart Lane. But they do have a bloody awful manager and they do have a funny habit of leaving expensive new signings on the bench. So you never know.

U RRRRRRRRRRRRRRsssssssssss

BIG RUNNER