crappy housewife?

LOL. ROFL. LMFAO.

Reactions such as these greet anyone who meets all three of these criteria:

1. has the very commonplace desire to be famous
2. does actually get quite widely noticed by a large number of people
3. has a quite spectacular lack of real talent

A recent example of a person who ticks all the above boxes is young Ms. Rebecca Black. It's probably safe to assume that most of the cool cats who visit this is my england are at least somewhat familiar with the case of the Californian teenager, so let's not go on about it too much here. To boil it right down: 13 year old kid's parents pay a vanity-release-record label to come up with a song for her. It sucks. Execrable lyrics. Shit tune. Fucking awful video. But. You know what? Not actually much worse than most of the ear-rape that passes for music these days. So the ensuing tirade of abuse unleashed at the singer (a child, remember) says more about the madness of crowds than it does about Ms. Black or the (presumably) pushy mom 'n' dad who paid to put the kid's head above the parapet.

Well, it could be that there's a happy ending for young Rebecca. Or at least a happy interlude. (Who knows about 'endings'? What does 'ending' mean when there's so much life ahead?) Assuming she is indeed someone who craves the delights of fame, she must be pleased to be featuring in a new promo video put out by songtress Katy Perry. Result. I guess.

Anyway. Today, via the Platform magazine, I got wind of an act whose debut tune was said to be hilariously worse than Rebecca's offering.

This comes from Norway. Enter Ms. Tonje Langeteig.

Tonje, an under-dressed platinum blonde lass with meaty thighs, belts out (in English) a truly weird song set to a Euro beat and featuring a rap breakdown performed by a buffoon apparently even less talented than the chanteuse, whose voice is pretty horrible. The premise of this offering is as follows: the singer fears the creeping advance of age and of becoming a "crappy housewife" (part of the title of the song). To avoid this reality she goes to a disco. In the song's video, said discotheque appears to be very thinly populated - perhaps because Tonje and her equally tarty pals rock up in broad daylight. The few people who are in there appear to be complete fucking bellends. The person responsible for the song's rap element looks a right fucking state in his mirror shades, baseball cap, dinner jacket and giant medallion. A friend of his is dressed almost identically badly.

A number of articles, the one at Platform included, weigh in to mock the quality of the tune, lyrics, production, video and general concept of this odd little piece. Examples:

• from Kevin McFarland
• at THE INQUISITR
• at Pop Trash Addicts

Something I find interesting/surprising: none of the above articles (or any others I know of) raise the question of whether Tonje's debut tune is a spoof. I think it is. Why?

• The song and the video are simply too bad to have been meant in earnest.
• The 'I Don't Wanna Be a Crappy Housewife' lyric and underyling concept are clearly meant to be ludicrous.
• Tonje and, and her agents at the suspiciously named Stalker Management Norway, both have an oddly minimal presence on Twitter. At the time of writing, Tonje has just six followers and has tweeted only once. The Stalker posse have a paltry three followers and have tweeted just twice. These guys are bloody poor agents if that's the extent of their social media campaign.
• Stalker Management's website is so awful it MUST be a joke.
• Said website reveales that the only two artister represented by the firm are Tonje and a guy who appears in her video (he's called Little T and he's the feller who just dances around behind the "rapper"). The photos of these two talents were clearly shot on the set of the only video associated with the firm (i.e. I Don't Wanna Be a Crappy Housewife).
• The firm also purports to represent modeller. As with the, ahem, artists, Stalker Management has a stable of just two persons in this second category - both of whom appear in the Crappy Housewife video. One of them is a stringy, scary looking brunette. The other is a dude who looks like Michael Gove but with better teeth (that's not saying much, right?).
• The dance moves throughout are surely a parody of shit European dancing.
• The people in the video and stills all look to me as though they are smirking, don't you think? Like they can't quite hide the fact it's all a joke.
• After I tweeted Tonje, (I said "Don't listen to the haters @TonjeLangeteig - your voice, lyrics and thighs are magnificent") I appear to have been blocked from following her on Twitter. A very suspicious response to such a friendly remark, I think. 
• The Tonje Langeteig merchandise is solid pisstake material.

Weighing all of this up, I'm minded to think: SPOOF.

However, I guess there's a way of finding out. Stalker Management's website helpfully contains the contact information of one Jitse Buitnik ('Manager'), including his mobile number. I can't be arsed to ring up a Norwegian and ask if he's the brains behind a fairly elaborate wind-up. But if you fancy a go, well, knock yourself out - and let me know how you get on.

More celebrity goss later, guys!!!! You know that's what this is my england is all about, right???? LOL!!!